A brief summary of the book The Art of Happiness

The Art of Happiness” by Dr.Howard C Cutler MD, an Internationally recognized practicing psychiatrist based on his extensive interviews and discourses of His Holiness The Dalai Lama.

(A brief summary of the above book which I could read recently. The wisdom of the concepts in this book could benefit many others).

GOAL AND PURPOSE OF OUR LIFE.

A new born child provides joy and happiness and is not tainted with negative emotions. Gentleness, joy and goodness are fundamental qualities of human beings. Goal of our life should be towards achieving happiness around our life- which is the very purpose of life. Happy people are more sociable, flexible, creative, tolerate frustrations, more open and reach out to help others. We are nurtured by others from birth. A child has a calm, affectionate and innocent state of mind. A happy, wholesome and peaceful mind also help maintain a healthy body. Our affectionate feelings and actions make us, relate to others and give us happiness.

All human beings have the same body mind and emotions and are untainted by negative emotions at birth. Religious, cultural and ethnic differences are not fundamental traits. People have different traits, from their genes or circumstances, like each one of us. If one can accept that all humans are just like you, it is easier to relate to others with kindness, love and compassion. Being open and sharing can be very useful for more satisfying, intimate relationships with others. Think how you feel when someone is kind to you. It helps you to be warm and compassionate to others. Try to appreciate the other person’s background, before you judge them. Get to know the deeper nature of a person and relate on that level to build a satisfying relationships. All humans desire and have a right to good food, sleep, to be loved, have a shelter etc. Try to see things from the other person’s perspective, to establish a positive relationship. Happiness is determined by the state of our own mind, than external factors. By mobilizing our thoughts, we can change our brain functions, to enhance our feelings of happiness and reduce negative effects of envy, anger, hatred, fear, greed, frustrations etc.

Unreasonable desires lead to greed, frustrations and unhappiness. Self satisfaction, Is not curtailing our reasonable desires. True antidote to greed and envy is contentment. Look at your own blessings, appreciate what you have.

Internal mental outlook is more effective to achieve happiness, than external sources like wealth, success, positions or even health. Inner feeling of contentment is far more important.

Helping others, compassion and altruism are special features of human race.

True compassion is unselfish help expecting nothing in return- like helping a fish in distress, with a hook in it’s mouth-unable to even express it’s thanks. Such unselfish actions give much inner joy and happiness to the giver.

Tendency to closely bond with others and their welfare is deeply rooted in human nature. Historical evidence show that solitary Netherlander man perished, under changed environment, but Homo sapiens, our ancestors survived due to their social skills and group living, helping each other. Close social ties are part of group success and survival of human race. Think how much we are dependent on other people in our life. An apple you buy, involves so many others like, farmer, distributor, sorting, storage, handling, transporting,retailing, use of machinery, making them, steel making, mining the ore, shipping etc.

Resentment is the emotion that goes with complaining, when you feel bitter, indignant, aggrieved or offended. Often it is based on  a total misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Even if there is some fault, by focusing on it, you amplify it. When you complain or react by implication you are right and the other person or situation is wrong. You should learn to protect you, from others who offend you, without making them your enemies. Do not personalize any offence. Non reaction is not a weakness, but it is strength. Another word for non reaction is forgiveness, which is the essence of human sanity. It requires honesty to see, if you still harbor grievances that you have not completely forgiven. Be aware of thoughts which keep it alive. Forgiveness happens naturally, when you see that it serves no useful purpose. “Forgive your enemies” is essentially about undoing the mind, which denies you happiness. Grievance is the baggage of old thoughts and emotions, which stop you from being happy in the present.

God is in every person and God`s force of creation is holding everything together in the universe. Christian’s call it `Christ within`- Buddhists call it the `Buddha Nature` and the Hindus `Atman` the indwelling of God. All your actions and relationships should reflect the oneness with God, which you sense deep within. Once you realise that everything in any form are unstable, not permanent, not within your control, peace will arises within you. Then you will be able to relate with compassion, to everyone and everything around you “the peace that is beyond all human understanding” will come into your life.

K.George John.

10/2018.